The phrase, “When you know, you know,” is consistently used to describe how it feels to meet the person you’re meant to be with. However, the saying can be just as applicable for deciding when you realize that’s not the person you’re with.
It may be one small thing that makes you see all the other signs you missed, or it may come out of nowhere. In any case, no matter how long it’s drawn out, there seems to always be one distinct moment where you realize it’s time to end your relationship. While it’s never easy to break up with someone, you really do know when it’s worth it.
Curious why other people choose to break up? Maybe even looking for some reassurance of why you ended a relationship or are thinking of breaking up with someone now. From manipulation to forgetting their birthday, we asked people for their reasons why they ended a relationship.
1. He didn’t love me anymore.
“My boyfriend and I had constantly been fighting for a couple of months, his love and affection had diminished. I was sad all the time.
“It was late at night and I had been with a group of girl friends. I cried all night to them and said out loud, ‘He doesn’t love me anymore.’ I woke up the next morning, face swollen from intensely crying. I found myself thinking about the night before and the words I had stated out loud. If I knew and acknowledge that he didn’t love me anymore, why was I still with him? I had lost myself in trying to constantly fix us. Even though it caused me heart break and depression, I knew it was what I had to do.
“I tried to meet up with him to break up with him in person but he couldn’t even give me the time of day, which only justified what I was about to do. I broke up with him in text and told him about the night before, about how I knew he didn’t love me, and I deserved better.” – Marisol
2. He forgot my birthday.
“I can remember the moment like it was yesterday. It’s the third week of spring. It’s a gorgeous day out. The sun is shining. There’s clear blue skies. It’s my birthday. I’m excited to hear from my family and friends. The day passes, I hear from everyone, except him. He’s usually the first person to call. But I hear nothing. No call, no text, no email, no voicemail … nothing. I get radio silence. I’m heartbroken. This is the confirmation I need. His actions tell me everything. Clearly, I’m no longer a priority in his life. I get the message.” – Lindy
3. He had no room for me in his house.
“Ours was a very long-distance relationship, with him in Seattle and me in Western Massachusetts. I knew going in that he wasn’t going to move, so if the relationship worked out I would be the one moving. I was willing — once we were engaged — to sell or rent my home in Massachusetts, and close down my massage therapy practice. The commitment on his end was he would support me while I built a business again in Washington. That included making space in his home for an in-home office until I could afford to rent something.
“When the time came to actually prepare that space, it became clear to me that — not only was he not willing to give up much physical space — he also seemed to think my work-related items should magically disappear from sight between clients, with no change to his precious man cave, nor his ability to watch movies, etc. during sessions.
“The actual moment I knew it was not going to work was when I wrote to ask what HE was willing to sacrifice for our relationship, and he responded: ‘You shouldn’t have to sacrifice anything for someone else, doing that takes away from who you are as a person.’
“I knew then his selfishness knew no bounds, and that he would never understand my definition … in which giving something up for the other makes you a better person.” – Sonya